Coach’s Compass: Trusting God Through Love, Growth, and New Beginnings

With Christian Dating Coach Rebekah Jewel, founder of Christian Singles Connect, which brings city-wide Christian events to individuals in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s & 50’s+.

🌟 About Coach’s Compass
Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who get it.

Q1: How Can I Date Confidently While Still Figuring Out My Independence?

“How can I approach dating as someone who’s autistic and still figuring out independence — like cooking, working full-time, or feeling confident in who I am — when it seems like everyone else has their life together? I want to find someone who accepts me as I am and maybe even complements what I struggle with.” -Anonymous

Rebekah’s Answer:
Hello Anonymous, Thank you for being so brave in speaking up with this question, and congratulations on passing your driver’s test! I think you have more positive qualities than you realize. For example, you explained yourself very well in your question—you shared both facts and feelings in an organized way, and it sounds like you’ve overcome a lot. Not many people could have faced the challenges you’ve faced and done so well. The great news is that the most important roles we fill in the lives of our partners are things like bringing joy, love, and affection. If the people you are around feel emotionally supported and experience happiness in the fun things you do together, basic tasks—such as cooking—don’t have to be important. You mentioned that you hope to meet someone who already enjoys cooking, and I think that’s a great idea! If they already handle their cooking, cleaning, and shopping while single, when they have your love by their side it will simply carry more meaning, more purpose. You deserve someone who is proud to be with you and stand by your side. One tip is to make sure you’re meeting new people in a variety of ways. Potential partners might come from church, faith-based volunteer outreaches, new activities you try in order to discover your interests, Ark Dating, or even from a community that supports people thriving with autism. It might be a family member of someone with autism that you meet—someone who understands what you face and wants to face it with you. But you need to see your value too! Don’t forget, the wisest person in the universe loves and believes in you. Ask God to show you your talents and value—it’s a conversation He’s ready for. Remember, only God can change a heart. Also, reading key relationship books and working with a counselor going forward may help you recognize healthy relationship patterns in the future. You deserve to take these healthy steps and find a more wonderful partner.

Q2: Should I Start Searching for Love Before Boot Camp—or Wait Until After?

“I genuinely want to find a woman of Christ—someone who shares my faith and values. But there’s a challenge: I ship out for boot camp in just over a month. It’s been on my heart to figure out whether I should start searching now, in hopes of establishing a foundation before I leave, or if it’s wiser to wait until after boot camp, when life feels more settled and focused.

What do you think—is it better to build something before a big life change, or to wait until you’re fully ready to give it your all?” -Jonathan from Texas

Rebekah’s Answer:
Dear Jonathan from Texas, First, thank you for your service to our country. I come from a military family and understand, at least in part, the great sacrifice it takes. Some of the greatest love stories in history began through letters written to soldiers—during peace or war—and often from relationships that had only just begun. All it takes is honesty and willingness. As long as a woman knows you’re leaving and can choose whether or not to invest her time, there’s no reason something meaningful can’t begin. Even if she meets others while you’re away, those experiences may simply confirm that you’re the one she truly wants. If so, when you return, you’ll continue from a stronger place. Whether to begin dating now or wait comes down to your feelings more than your timetable. Are you ready for the emotional ups and downs of a long-distance relationship? Do you think you’ll feel regret or peace if you wait much longer? I thank God that faith enables us not to ‘rush’ ahead in unhealthy ways. At the same time, miracles happen every day and love has grown strong for many – even across the sea.

Q3: Will God Still Bless Me Even When I’m Struggling in My Faith?

“As a first-time Christian, I’m learning what it truly means to walk by faith. There are still a few areas of my life where I fall short, but I’m trying my best to keep my eyes on God and trust His plan. Sometimes I wonder—when God sees me still struggling but still trying—does He still want to bless me?” -Pierce from Arkansas

Rebekah’s Answer:
Dear Pierce from Arkansas, I hear the authenticity and bravery in what you’re saying. You’ve asked, “When we’ve tried our best and fall short—does God still love us and wish to bless us? Absolutely, yes! One of my favorite verses is Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” If God loved us that deeply while we were running from Him, why would he love us any less when we’re stumbling toward Him? In fact, even if we were to walk away after knowing His goodness, like in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-31), God’s love remains strong. In the story, the father (God) runs to his son with forgiveness even before the son apologized. It is not our actions that cause God to love us; He loves us because He is love. God also removes our sin “as far as the east is from the west” (Psalm 103:12–14) so that it’s not even in the picture anymore! Still, like the story of the prodigal son shows, the boy did experience unfortunate consequences. However, they were not due to the father being unloving. They were simply the natural results of choosing unhealthy options in the same way that not working out at a gym might cause muscle loss and yelling at a friend might loose a friendship. Though God can restore health and redeem friendships, nothing is more wonderful than closely following God’s plan for your life. Still, even when we stumble, God’s love never changes and his blessings never cease. (Psalm 23:6) Romans 8:31-39 is a must read that sums this up best. I pray you might find a mentor at church—someone who will encourage and celebrate you as you navigate these important questions. God bless!

Want Your Question Answered?

Have a dating question you’d love our coaches to tackle in the next Coach’s Compass? Send it to us at: HERE

Together, we’ll help you find your way in dating — with faith as your compass.