Coach’s Compass: Encouragement for Early Dating, God-Honoring Pursuit, and Leading With Faith

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With Christian Dating Coach Rebekah Jewel, founder of Christian Singles Connect, which brings city-wide Christian events to individuals in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s & 50’s+.

🌟 About Coach’s Compass
Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who get it.

Q1: How Do I Guard My Heart and Stay Confident When I’m Not Getting Likes?

“Hello. I just signed up yesterday. How do I guard my heart and not take it personally if I’m not getting the likes or notes that I was hoping for? How do I stay confident and not give up too quickly?” -Kristine from Montana

Rebekah’s Answer:
"Dear Kristine from Montana, One key piece of advice I give clients is to approach online dating with structure and support. Set clear boundaries, seek expert guidance early, and find an accountability partner — a friend who encourages and prays for you along the way. Boundaries: Since searching through profiles and facing rejection isn’t easy, try checking apps only a few times a week or before heading out to meet friends. This helps you stay grounded and emotionally steady. You can also plan short, focused dating periods (one to three months), followed by time for rest and prayer. Advice: Learning what makes a strong profile, are great photos and how men and women communicate differently, can save you months of frustration. Starting wisely helps you steward both your time and heart. I recommend the free podcasts by Ark Compass Dating coach Michelle Joiner, The Christian Dating Coach, or ask a trusted friend to review your profile. Most importantly, remember the right person may simply not be on the app yet. People only see a snapshot — not the depth and character God designed in you — so don’t let slow progress or quick judgments shake your confidence. Stay close to friends, pursue your interests, take breaks, and keep showing up. Trust that God is guiding your path and can do far more than you ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:14–21)."

Q2: How Do I Make Sure My Interest in Someone Doesn’t Distract Me From God?

“If I meet a girl I like at church, how would I move forward and still put God first?” -Single in Charlottesville

Rebekah’s Answer:
"Dear Single in Charlottesville, To answer your question, it helps to first define what 'putting God first' means to you. Does it mean setting aside time for prayer, serving at church, managing finances wisely, guarding your thoughts, waiting for physical intimacy until marriage, or staying focused on worship when she’s beside you — or all of the above? Once you clarify that, you can measure how dating affects each area and plan to protect your priorities. For example, if volunteering is important, don’t skip commitments for dates; if financial stewardship matters, date thoughtfully without going into debt. If purity is your goal, decide in advance how to set boundaries – like spending much of your time in public spaces. Even choosing to sit separately in church can help you stay focused on God. Most Christian women will respect these choices when they see that your motives are sincere. The fact that you’re asking this question already shows a genuine desire to honor God — and that’s something He deeply values. God bless you for seeking Him first.”

Q3: How Do I Navigate a Christian Relationship When It’s All New to Me?

“I’m not sure how to lead a woman closer towards god. I’m also not sure how to navigate a Christian relationship, as none of my previous relationships were with a Christian woman. How do I go about navigating these things in my life without being overbearing or being overwhelmed?” -Anonymous

Rebekah’s Answer:
"I admire your desire to lead someone closer to God in a way that honors Him. True leadership is naturally not overbearing as it leads by example. Setting healthy boundaries (such as avoiding debt and attending church consistently) naturally inspires reflection in the other person. Most Christian women respect a man who stands firm in his faith.

Remember, neither of you will be perfect — only Jesus is. Letting go of striving for perfection in either of you will help avoid feeling overwhelmed. Growing together in Christ may mean having gentle, honest conversations and then taking time to pray and seek God independently before revisiting the topic. These steps may also strengthen your ability to communicate once married. And remember, husbands and wives can believe differently on many issues; it’s being on the same page with the core values that matter.

Lastly, consider talking with your pastor about dating in a faith-centered way. They can often connect you with great resources or a mentor. The fact that you’re asking this question already speaks volumes about your sincerity and the kind of partner you will be."

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