Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who truly understand the journey.
With Christian Dating Coach Rebekah Jewel, founder of Christian Singles Connect, which brings city-wide Christian events to individuals in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s & 50’s+.
🌟 About Coach’s Compass
Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who get it.
“I’m in a relationship that’s destroyed, and I really want to make it work, but he doesn’t seem to be willing to make any changes” -Alisson from Bedford
Rebekah’s Answer:
Dear Alisson from Bedford, First, I’m glad that you shared your questions and that you’re reaching out for help. If there’s any abuse, violence, or addiction, please seek safety right away. You deserve kindness, respect, and security — and these issues rarely improve after marriage. If a partner is not abusive but is still acting in smaller, hurtful ways, remember that dating usually shows us the best of how a person will treat us — so ask yourself: are their actions and attitudes things you could live with for the rest of your life? If you choose to talk with him one last time about changing, try to do so calmly and in a safe, public place. Share how his actions affect you, and if he dismisses or shames you — or says what you want to hear without any real change — it’s a good indication that it’s time to let this go. Your time is precious, and you want to spend it with the right person. If, however, children are involved, I encourage you to consult with a professional counselor and lawyer before making any final decisions. Remember, only God can change a heart. Also, reading key relationship books and working with a counselor going forward may help you recognize healthy relationship patterns in the future. You deserve to take these healthy steps and find a more wonderful partner.
“I want to know if different denominations can date or if you should only date within your own denomination? What's more successful?” -Anonymous
Rebekah’s Answer:
"Dear Anonymous, Excellent question. Jesus and the apostles urged believers to pursue unity despite differences (see Titus 3:9; Ephesians 4:2-6). Some denominational differences are more about preference and styles of worship, prayer, or preaching than core beliefs. Even when deeper theological differences exist, such as views on baptism or free will, they don’t have to divide you if both partners can respect one another’s convictions. What matters most is a shared faith in who Christ is, what He did on the cross, and how we live that out daily. Some differences, however, such as views on gender roles, may shape everyday life and cause greater challenges if not worked through before marriage. I personally believe that attending the same church as a married couple is helpful, especially when raising children. Still, if your children see that you hold different opinions while still respecting one another and others, that example can strengthen their faith. Consider this: 1. Discuss your beliefs calmly — not to change each other, but to see if you can listen well and respect one another’s opinions. 2. Visit each other’s churches for a season before deciding what works best. 3. Be aware that family expectations, not just theology, can create tension — handle those proactively and with kindness. Pray together and stay open to how God might guide you. With Christ, all things are possible.”
“How do I find people on Ark to become my friends and help influence me to stay on the right path if I don't go to church, but I want to? It feels like people on this app won't take me seriously if I'm only beginning my faith journey. I don't have anybody to talk about Jesus or the Bible with, and that's kinda what I'm using this app for. Am I in the wrong place?” -A Faithful Friend
Rebekah’s Answer:
"There is so much hope! Remember, dating apps — even Christian ones — aren’t designed for mentorship or spiritual growth like a church is. If you’re sincere about your faith (and I believe you are), a great first step is finding a local church and joining a Bible study. Many churches post sermons or host bible study groups online. You can even look for online resources from churches near where you live! Once you find a style and community that fits, attending in person can feel natural and help you build connections. You can also reach out to a pastor, Bible study leader, or staff member for guidance. They typically welcome this connection and might know of other Christian singles to introduce you to. On the app, share your faith journey, especially the steps you’re taking to grow closer to God. If others seem hesitant, don’t take it personally — many have been hurt by past experiences of people saying one thing about faith but then acting differently. God sees your genuine heart and others will see it soon too. So be encouraged, get plugged into a local church, and trust God’s timing. Maybe it will be a friend at your new church who changes your life — or someone you marry from Ark Dating. All you can do is take the next step."
Have a dating question you’d love our coaches to tackle in the next Coach’s Compass? Send it to us at: HERE
Together, we’ll help you find your way in dating — with faith as your compass.
A better Christian dating experience.
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