Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who get it.
With Michelle Joiner, The Christian Dating Coach
🌟 About Coach’s Compass
Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who get it.
“How do I know when I’m ready to date? What should I look for in a Godly man?” — Alyssa
Michelle’s Answer:
You’re ready to date when you stop attaching your worth to the outcome. The thing that makes people pull back is fear that a “no” or a failed connection means something is wrong with them. But dating isn’t a judgment on your worth — all it is, is a conversation with someone.
You don’t have to be “ready for marriage” to start dating, you just need to be ready for coffee and connection. Once you take the pressure off, it’s much simpler to enjoy the process and let God unfold the rest in His timing.
As for finding a godly man, safeguards are helpful, but the most important thing is that you’re abiding deeply in God’s Word. When the Word of Christ dwells in you richly, your mind is renewed, and you are being led by the Spirit. That is when you’ll be able to discern if a man is truly walking in obedience to God. The Spirit will guide you far more clearly than any checklist ever could.
“I would love to match with someone who is willing to love me for who I am. Not under a microscope. I just want to be loved.” - Anonymous
Michelle’s Answer:
I hear the ache in your words — that desire to be loved without judgment is deep and God-given. But here’s the truth: real love isn’t about being put under a microscope or tested again and again. It’s not meant to happen 10 or 20 times. It happens once, with the person who chooses you fully and forever.
Love is built over time — through shared quirks, laughter, and real life. And when you meet the one God has for you, their love and care will make it clear. Don’t worry that it hasn’t happened yet. It only needs to happen once — with the person you’ll walk with until death do you part.
“I haven't had very much luck with dating apps, so I'm deciding to give Ark a try. What is the likelihood of me finding somebody?” — Stephen
Michelle’s Answer:
I hear your frustration — it’s discouraging to feel like apps aren’t working, especially when you’ve tried for a while. But here’s the truth: an app is only as good as how you use it.
The likelihood of finding someone on Ark goes way up when your profile, pictures, and messages tell a compelling story. Women notice when a man’s profile shows what his life and values really are instead of just listing hobbies. They notice when pictures are genuine and inviting. And they notice when messages are thoughtful and specific.
Most women feel disappointed when it’s obvious a guy hasn’t read their profile. But light flirting, a kind compliment, or a playful comment that shows you paid attention makes you stand out immediately. If you invest in presenting yourself well and starting conversations with confidence, your chances on Ark — and with women in general — increase dramatically.
Have a dating question you’d love our coaches to tackle in the next Coach’s Compass? Send it to us at: HERE
Together, we’ll help you find your way in dating — with faith as your compass.
A better Christian dating experience.
