Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches.
With Michelle Joiner, The Christian Dating Coach
🌟 About Coach’s Compass
Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating faith and relationships, answered with Spirit-led wisdom and practical advice to help you date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.
Michelle Joiner is The Christian Dating Coach — a mentor and dating expert who helps single Christian women pursue marriage with confidence and faith. Through her coaching, podcast, and Flirt Pure® method, she equips women to date in a way that’s Spirit-led, intentional, and effective. Michelle is passionate about guiding singles toward healthy, God-centered relationships, which is why she’s partnering with Ark to answer your biggest dating questions.
*"I’ve been in the dating space for the last decade, going through seasons of open and closed dating. After being closed from dating over the past year, I’m back on the scene. I want to get married someday, but I’m just dipping my toe into meeting Christian men again, especially online.
Is it wise to be getting to know people this way when I’m not ready for marriage but open to connection again? Or is it best to date only if you know you’re ready to get married like… tomorrow? I don’t want to sit on the sidelines waiting to be my most ready, but I also don’t want to lead anyone on or make people feel like I’m wasting their time. Asking as a dater who is happy with friendship at this point in dating. Thanks for reading!"*
Michelle’s Answer:
I hear the worry in your question, but let me assure you — there’s no problem here. People talk about being ‘ready for marriage’ as if that’s the next step, when really the next step is exploring possibilities and building connection. No one expects you to be marriage-ready on the first date. Think of it like engineering school: no one expects a freshman to be ready to build a bridge on day one. So don’t disqualify yourself because you’re not there yet. Enjoy meeting Christian men, building friendships, and dating. Once you’ve met the right person, fallen in love, walked through real life together, and he gets down on one knee to propose — that’s when you’ll know you’re ready for marriage.
"I just wanna find the right guy. You know? My mom married three Christian guys, one of which ended up being an abusive narcissist. So I don’t wanna go through what she did." – Mads
Michelle’s Answer:
Mads, I’m so sorry for what you watched your mom go through — even though it was her marriages, I know it impacted you too, and that’s hard. But let me reassure you — there’s no destiny that says you have to repeat her story. God is a Redeemer of every past and every pain. In fact, you may even have an advantage — you’ve seen firsthand what not to do. That makes you wiser and more alert. The key now is discernment: don’t be swept away by charisma, chemistry, or someone just claiming they’re Christian. Look for obedience to God’s Word and proven character. And don’t walk this road alone — when the people who know and love you give the thumbs up, that’s when it’s the sweetest. You’ve got this, sis. We’re all rooting for you.
"What are some things to avoid on a first date to make it less awkward?"
Michelle’s Answer:
The biggest thing to avoid on a first date is putting too much pressure on it. You don’t need to know if he’s “the one” by the end of coffee, and you don’t need to worry you’re auditioning for marriage on the spot. Remember: it’s just coffee. See every date as practice — a chance to learn how to create chemistry, flirt in a godly way, and grow in your communication. Take the pressure off, get out of your head, and focus on having fun.
Have a dating question you’d love our coaches to tackle in the next Coach’s Compass? Send it to us at: HERE
Together, we’ll help you find your way in dating — with faith as your compass.
A better Christian dating experience.
