With Janelle Lynnae, Christian Dating Coach
🌟 About Coach’s Compass
Coach’s Compass is Ark’s monthly Q&A series with Christian Dating Coaches. Each edition features real questions from singles navigating the ups and downs of modern dating — and practical, faith-centered advice from coaches who get it.
“Is it okay to date multiple people at once?” -Anonymous
Janelle's Answer: Unpopular Christian opinion… YES! I actually encourage it. BUT with the huge caveat that dating numerous people at once includes these 3 rules:
ONE: NO physical contact whatsoever.
No holding hands. No kissing. Nothing that would bond you two together nor lead the other person on to believe that something more serious is going on.
TWO: After 2-4 dates, if you’re not feeling it… you gotta cut it off.
Send a respectful text or make the phone call to let him or her know you’re not seeing it go anywhere. Do NOT lead people on for long periods of time. Do not ghost people. Be a respectful person and do the right thing. You should NOT be on the sixth date with 3 different people. That’s far too serious to be with 3 people.
THREE: Do not lie or lead anyone on with future-talking if you’re still unsure if you’re interested.
So while yes, there can be overlap like this week you have date #1 with Steve and next week date #2 with Bob, date #3 with George. (LOL at my name choices!) But from there, you gotta start making some decisions so you don’t hurt people's feelings. And always be honest if someone asks if you’re dating other people still. Lying is not okay.
The reason why I encourage it is because I think getting to know the opposite sex in a healthy, respectful way can help you understand more of who you are, more of what you’re looking for in your spouse, and to have fun with dating instead of making it so serious! It takes the pressure off of trying to force someone to be your spouse on date #1, which I feel like is way too common in the Christian dating space. Also, it’s attractive when someone isn’t desperate. Especially for the women - going on a few dates with a few people, having a bit of overlap allows you to see which men step up and start pursuing you. Men are made to pursue, women are made to be pursued. So within the right boundaries, getting to know a few people at once can be healthy and helpful!
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