In this heartfelt post, Janelle Lynnae Vignone, Christian dating coach and founder of Attract Your Husband Academy, shares how to hold onto faith when marriage feels delayed. Through Scripture, wisdom, and actionable advice, she walks you through seven powerful ways to prepare your heart, strengthen your faith, and attract a healthy, God-centered relationship in His perfect timing.
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I know how painful it is to watch your friends get married before you... To feel behind on the timeline you always imagined. To start wondering if maybe God doesn’t want you to be married after all — or worse, that you’re somehow being punished.
Let me assure you… God sees your heart’s desires. Marriage is a union created by God. And I truly believe that God wants to give you the healthy desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Marriage was designed by God, so we know it’s a good and Godly desire! He wants to fulfill that desire — but in His perfect timing. The delay isn’t a punishment; it’s preparation.
During this season of waiting, I challenge you not to lose hope. Hold on to that tinyyy mustard seed of faith you have left that marriage is still in the cards for you. Your story is not over yet.
If God has placed that desire in your heart, then you can trust that He intends to fulfill it. So even if it’s not happening in your timeline, don’t let that make you doubt God or settle for something unhealthy. His timing is not a “no” — it’s a “not yet.”
Sometimes we want marriage so much that it quietly becomes an idol — something we chase harder than God Himself. But the marriage of your dreams will develop best from a surrendered heart. When you trust that your life is full and beautiful even before marriage, you create space for God to bless you in His timing, not your striving. The delay isn’t a punishment; it’s an invitation to grow, to trust, and to let God be your first love again.
You must actively choose to believe that there are still incredible, Godly, single people out there. Stay expectant instead of cynical. Stop saying “there’s no good single people out there” or “they’re all taken” or “dating sucks”. The tongue has the power of life or death — are you speaking life or death over your dating journey? Are you speaking life or death over the opposite gender? Use self control to stop cursing the journey to finding your spouse. Speak LIFE.
Forgive those who hurt you. Forgive your ex’s. Forgive your parents. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. You can’t receive something new if you’re still carrying the old. Ask God to help you release trauma, bitterness, disappointment, regret, and fear so you can move forward in freedom. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse what happened; it just frees your heart so you’re not dragging old pain into a new promise. And don’t forget: the name of Jesus is powerful! When you pray, say “in the name of Jesus, I break off all bitterness and unforgiveness toward ____. I choose forgiveness from this day forward.”
Talk to God about your future marriage. Pray for patience, for preparation, and for the person He’s preparing for you. Ask Him to shape your character, strengthen your faith, and protect your future spouse wherever they are right now. Remember — the enemy would love for you to give up, but prayer keeps your heart connected to hope. Your prayers aren’t wasted. God hears every single one. Check out this post to see the 21 day prayer challenge I did when I was single that brought me my husband. And check out this post for inspo on how you can pray more specifically.
Spend time journaling, healing, and growing. Let God reveal the parts of your heart that still need restoration and bring them to Him in prayer. This season isn’t just about becoming healthier emotionally — it’s about aligning your heart with God’s vision for your life and marriage. Just like it says in Habakkuk 2:2, “Write the vision; make it plain.” Don’t be afraid to get specific. Write down what you’re believing God for — what your future marriage will look like, the kind of spouse you want to become, and the kind of Kingdom impact you want to have together. Let God shape the vision, your identity, and your purpose. Your waiting season isn’t wasted — it’s preparation for the promise. The healthier you become mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, the healthier the person you’ll attract will be.
There’s a time to rest and take breaks from dating. Absolutely. But also, there are times where you gotta put yourself out there! Invest time on the Ark App, go on dates, meet new people, and be open to possibilities. Faith without works is dead — sometimes we have to move for God to move! If you’re praying for a spouse but never putting yourself in places where you could meet one, you might be blocking your own blessing. Be open, be wise, and trust that each dating experience will teach you something valuable and get you closer to your dream marriage.
Don’t settle! God loves you too much to give you less than His best. Remember that His best will come with both peace and excitement. God won’t ask you to commit to someone you feel uneasy about. At the same time, He also might surprise you with someone who doesn’t fit your usual “type.” When you’re on dating apps or meeting new people, it’s easy to swipe left too quickly without giving someone a real chance. This is where wisdom and discernment come in — knowing the difference between being healthy picky and letting pride get in the way. I actually have a post to help you discern if you’re too picky or if your standards are healthy if you’d like to check it out here.
I’ll finish with this: Please please PLEASE do not give up on the love story God has for you. Your day will come — and when it does, the wait will be soo worth it. You’ll never take your marriage for granted!
Attracting your future spouse is all about who you’re becoming. The healthier and more surrendered you become, and the more on FIRE for Jesus you become, the more likely it is that you’ll attract someone who’s walking in that same health, surrender and faith!
If you want to learn more about this, I have a free masterclass called Magnetize Marriage: 3 Steps to Attract Your Dream Husband. (It’s primarily for women but men you can join too of course!) You can register for free — it’s packed with practical and spiritual steps to prepare for a strong, faith-filled marriage.
I also teach how to heal old patterns and start dating with intentionality inside my full course, Attract Your Husband Academy. If you’re serious about attracting your future spouse this year, that’s where we do the deep work together.
God is about to blow your mind with your miracle marriage. Just you wait :)
xoxo,
Janelle Lynnae Vignone
P.S. My husband Frankie and I have a podcast together called the Marriage & Miracles Podcast. You can check it out here!
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